There are many types of addictions, but the truth is that all addictions are serious and they can take a serious toll on your relationship whether you are married or just dating. If you are dating someone who is an addict you probably feel angry, hurt, betrayed, frustrated, and just plain tired. Of course, if you didn't love them you would just walk away, but in the mean time you aren't sure what to do but you know that something needs to change.
Whatever you do, don't try to make sense of or justify the addiction. As the person that loves your partner, you don't need to help them justify their behavior. Instead, you need to work to understand how you can help them get better. If you try to make sense of the addiction or justify it by saying things such as, "Well, she had a really hard upbringing.." you will just make it easier for them to continue on this path of destruction.
Talk to your partner about their addiction. Let them know, without nagging, that you are worried and that you want to help them kick this habit. Don't be confrontational, instead come to them from an angle that you are on their side and you are there to help them. Let them know that you would love them no matter what, but you know that they can be so much more than they are when they are giving into the addiction. Perhaps you will learn that they don't want to be living this way and you can help them get better. If they are hesitant or angry, the battle is still not over.
Summon the support of other friends and family. Communicate with all of the friends and family members about your concern and see if they will support you in a confrontation and intervention on behalf of your partner. Let them know that it may not be pretty, but the idea is to help your mate get better and live the life you know that they are capable of living. When you get a group of people together in an intervention type setting, you can often encourage the addict to get help.
If you try to get the person into rehab and you try to support them and help them and they are not interested in changing, you need to determine how long you can continue to live this way. While you may love this person you need to love yourself more. When you cannot take it anymore and there are no signs that the person wants to change, you need to preserve yourself and just walk away. Cutting your losses in this way can be very difficult, but when you have done everything in your power to help them get better, it is the only option.
Rodrigo Rehn is a Relationships Expert, Linux Systems Administrator, Web Programmer, PHP Developer and CEO of FaceRomance online dating for singles.
